My parents met because they were jaydubs. It was the very reason for my existence, though the reason does not exist anymore for me. So I was never meant to be in the first place...
Because of our unique experience of absolute truth turning into obvious lie, us exjdubs have become acutely aware of the fickleness of fate. Questioning deeply embedded beliefs will put everything into question - who am I, who should I be/have been, where should I be/have been.
But of course life is just as fickle for all those that have not become aware of this because they were never born, or if they were, were killed in a senseless car accident -- just as fickle for those that have become acutely aware because they were the heart-broken parent of the victim of that car accident -- just as fickle for those that have not become aware, coasting along contently because they were never confronted with mind-boggling dilemmas of angst-induced absolute truth about a supposed choice between everlasting life or eternal destruction.
Because we sometimes demonize JWism we should at least not doubt the no doubt often sincere, idealistic and honourable motives behind those "choices" we now regret. Dwelling on this impossible and elusive proposition - thinking in terms as if you had a say in the matter; a really informed choice - is guaranteed to cause unhappiness. We never chose to be misled. Most people, if not all, are misled to a certain extent. It is simply that our lie was exposed which should make us aware that having a choice is a relative thing. In real life no one gets the informed choice between the blue or the red pill. At least when we tasted the red pill we somehow chose to swallow it. We should commend ourselves for our courage. I think we should not torture ourselves too much with overrating the heavy burden of choice (even though I still do so myself).
VG